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Toronto Dating Agency

by Rebecca Cooper-Traynor

The Most Important Person You Need to Love is Yourself

It’s that time of year again—the much-anticipated (or more often dreaded) Valentine’s Day. I’m here to tell you Valentine’s Day is just another day. Yes, this matchmaker right here is telling you Valentine’s Day is no big deal!

No. Big. Deal. Are you with me? Take a moment and breathe a big sigh of relief!

The Valentine’s Day Deception

So many of us feel the pressure to make Valentine’s day into a big event when we’re paired up. And when you’re single, it’s even worse! Everywhere you look, there’s hearts, flowers, couples, cupids, heart-shaped candy, cards … it’s enough to make you queasy!

In reality, February 14th is more about the commercialization of love, which doesn’t mean much at all. It’s a Hallmark Holiday; it’s there to take your money.

In the pre-pandemic world, you can’t get a table in a restaurant on V-day unless you book months in advance. Worst of all, the expectations are through the roof – perish the thought that your significant other doesn’t buy you the right gift, champagne, or make an adequately grand gesture in your honour.

If you’re in a relationship and want to show your love, there are more genuine ways to do it. Plus, loving gestures shouldn’t be restricted to one day a year. You need to show you care every day if you want to keep those fires burning.

First, Love Yourself

We all desire to loved and be loved, but in truth, the most important person you need to love is yourself. Even if you are in a relationship, self-love is the key to being happy and healthy, even though that is not always easy to do. There’s an old saying that says, “you must drink from the well to nourish yourself before you can nourish others,” and it’s so true!

Love radiates from you when you prioritize self-love, no grand gestures necessary! Here are a few self-love tips you can practice every day.

1.      Look Inside

In our experience, you’ll never find ‘the one’ until you find yourself. Without a comfortable sense of who you are, there is a tendency to seek outside approval, and that usually leads to a less-than-satisfying result where love is concerned. Take the time to turn inward. You must heal old wounds and develop yourself before becoming whole.

2.    Own Your Own Life

It’s your life! We’ve all got a past; you need to own it before you can truly be happy. You don’t need to compromise your own happiness or sense of self to satisfy anybody else. Friends and family may have ideas about who you should be, and that’s okay! It’s not their life—it’s yours.

3.    Be 100 Percent You

Don’t be afraid to be who you are. When you are yourself, you are more relaxed, more confident, more authentic, and most of all, happy. You will attract people who like you for you, not an inauthentic version of yourself based on preconceived notions or unrealistic ideals. You want your soulmate to recognize you when they meet you, right? They won’t if you are hiding behind a mask.

4.    Say YES

Say an emphatic YES to new experiences. There is a whole wide world out there just waiting for you to experience it. Even during a pandemic, you can try new things. Say yes to a socially distanced walk or a Zoom meetup with new friends. You never know who you might meet when you say yes; it might be a new friend, a business connection, or even a love connection!

5.    Take it Slow

It’s easy to get excited when you meet someone new, and you might find yourself rushing to take things to the ‘next level.’ A new love interest may seem great under the gauzy halo of attraction, but once you get to know them, maybe they aren’t quite what you imagined. If you have already become physically intimate, it’s harder to pull back. It’s okay to take things slow and get to know someone first. The right person will still be there no matter how long it takes. Try Zoom dating before you meet up in person, progress to socially-distanced outdoor activities, and really get to know them for who they are before you dive in with both feet.

Knowing and loving yourself is hard, but the effort is totally worth it. When you have a good sense of yourself, your confidence radiates outward, attracting the kind of love and energy that matches your own.

Do you love yourself? When you do, it will be that much easier for your match to see you. When you’re ready to meet your match, Match Me Canada is here to support your search. Reach out today to schedule a consultation; we’d love to show you how we can help!