Choosing the Right Help
Matchmaker or Dating Coach? How to Choose in Toronto
They solve different problems. Here is how to tell which one you actually have, what each costs in Toronto, and when it makes sense to use both.
Most people who contact me have already decided they need help. What they have not decided is what kind. Half of them ask for a matchmaker when what they need is a coach, and the other half ask for coaching when a matchmaker would get them to a relationship faster. Since I do both in Toronto, and have for seventeen years, let me explain the difference the way I would if you were sitting across from me.
What a Matchmaker Actually Does
A matchmaker finds the people. You are interviewed properly, usually in person or on a long video call, so the matchmaker understands not just what you say you want but how you live, what you value and what has gone wrong before. Then the matchmaker searches a private database and a personal network, vets candidates, checks interest on both sides and arranges the introduction. After the date, both people give feedback and the next introduction is adjusted.
The value is in the curation and the privacy. You are not on an app. Nobody you work with will see your profile. And every person you meet has been chosen and screened by someone who knows you both.
What a Dating Coach Actually Does
A dating coach changes how you date. That might mean your profile and photos, the apps you use, how you message, how you pace the first few dates, how you handle the person who fades after three weeks, or the pattern that keeps bringing you back to the same kind of partner. The coach does not find your matches. The coach makes you far better at finding and keeping them yourself.
The value is in the skills, and in the honesty. A good coach will tell you the thing your friends are too polite to say.
A matchmaker fixes who you meet. A coach fixes what happens after you meet them. Most people need one of those far more than the other.
Which One Do You Need?
Answer these honestly and the choice usually makes itself.
- You are getting dates, but they never turn into anything. That is a coaching problem. More introductions will produce more of the same result until something changes in how you date.
- You are not getting dates at all, or the apps only bring you the wrong people. Start with coaching on your profile and app strategy. It is the cheapest fix and it works quickly. Our Online Dating Accelerator is built for exactly this.
- You have done the apps properly and you are done with them. That is a matchmaking client. You want privacy, curation and someone else doing the searching.
- You have a demanding job, a high profile, or a reason to keep your dating life out of public view. Matchmaking, and specifically a concierge level of it.
- You keep choosing the same kind of person and it keeps ending the same way. Coaching first, then matchmaking once the pattern has shifted. Otherwise the matchmaker introduces you to a lovely person and you do the same thing again.
What Each Costs in Toronto
Dating coaching in Toronto generally runs from a few hundred dollars for a single session to a few thousand for a structured program. At Match Me Canada, a 60 minute coaching call is $250 and the one month Online Dating Accelerator is $1,750 plus HST. Boutique matchmaking in Toronto usually costs between $1,500 and $10,000 depending on the number of introductions and the level of support, with luxury search firms starting around $15,000. Our matchmaking programs start at $1,500 and our Private Dating Concierge is $8,500. There is a fuller breakdown in our guide to what a matchmaker costs in Toronto, and a comparison of the main services in Toronto matchmakers compared.
When Both Makes Sense
The clients who get to a relationship fastest usually do a short stretch of coaching first, then matchmaking. The coaching fixes the things that would sabotage a good introduction: the profile that undersells you, the habit of texting too much too soon, the tendency to write someone off after one flat date. Then the matchmaking puts the right people in front of the improved version of you. This is why I run both under one roof, and why many of our Accelerator clients move into matchmaking afterward.
Questions People Ask Me
Is a matchmaker better than dating apps?
Different, not better. Apps give you volume with no filtering. A matchmaker gives you a small number of vetted introductions with a lot of filtering. If you have the time and the skills to filter well yourself, the apps can work. If you do not, a matchmaker saves you months.
Can a dating coach help if I am over 50?
Yes, and in my experience coaching helps clients over 50 more than any other group, because the apps have changed so much since they last dated and nobody explains the new rules. Many of my coaching and matchmaking clients are in their fifties and sixties.
Do I have to live in Toronto?
For coaching, no. It runs over video and we work with clients across Ontario and Canada. For matchmaking, our database is strongest in Toronto and the GTA, and we work with clients in other Canadian cities case by case.
Not Sure Which One You Are?
That is what the Next Steps Call is for. It is a short, no-pressure conversation with me. You tell me what has been happening, and I tell you honestly whether you need a coach, a matchmaker, or neither yet.
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