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by Rebecca Cooper Traynor

Vulnerability is a scary thought

Often in meetings with our new Match Me Canada matchmaking clients, I hear them speak about what a great catch they are, and how they want to meet someone who has as much confidence as they do. I believe it! I can see with my own eyes that they are sitting tall, and their powerful words are ones that they truly believe.

When I ask them if they have ever approached someone for their number, they instantly clam up, their shoulders slump in, their confidence has been pushed to the floor, and they can’t put a sentence together. The reaction from this successful and confident single is from the sheer thought of being vulnerable.

People struggle with the idea of putting their MBA and CEO persona aside for just one minute, and to just expose who they truly are to a complete stranger. That, my friend, can be a scary thought!

It’s important to go through this process mentally in your head before approaching a stranger. You need to be able to decipher through two important pieces of you – your work character and who you truly are. Often, the challenge is accepting that who we are during our downtime, is our true self.

The introvert who enjoys curling up in bed with a good book, the person who makes time to see their parents every weekend and enjoys the quiet part of life, maybe even jumping into bed before 10 pm.

It’s hard to imagine all the conferences you attend as an active participant, and occasional rejection from prospective clients you encounter does not prepare you for walking up to a complete stranger to ask for their number… but it doesn’t.

As a matchmaker, I become an important figure in many of our client’s lives. They put trust in our service to help them find a compatible partner. They divulge many deep secrets, knowing that they are in good hands and can confide in us.

The openness that people have and can share is amazing.

When you have decided that you can approach a stranger, then it is significant to show this person your true self. Revealing your vulnerability, your compassion, and your clever wit, are necessary steps on your path.

Once you are willing to take a chance, connections will be made, and excitement will grow. You’ve moved past your professional accomplishments, and are prepared to accept the imperfections that make you likable, quirky, loveable, and just plain you. These are the things that become appealing to somebody else because they are honest, they are real, and they are truly you

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