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Match me Canada

by Rebecca Cooper-Traynor

No Experience Necessary: Finding Love After Being “Off the Market”

If you haven’t dated for a while, it’s perfectly normal to feel a little strange about getting back into dating. If you’re open-minded and ready to enter the next chapter of your life, love could truly be just around the corner – with one very simple caveat.

If you think that love is just going to show up on your doorstep, you might be waiting a while. If you’re really serious about this journey, you need to be proactive, and that’s where we can help. Many of our clients find love within the first three months, so if you are ready, we’re here to help!

I’m Think I’m Finally Ready to Love Again! What Now?
If you are coming out of a committed, long-term relationship or marriage, you’re probably wondering what the next steps should look like for you. Your heart is healed, your mind feels ready, but what now?

Based on our experience assisting hundreds of singles over the past 11 years, here’s what we know.

Is Casual Dating Necessary?
You might have been told that you need dating experience before you start looking for love again. However, for many people, this is not an appealing approach. If you don’t enjoy dating for dating’s sake and don’t want to waste time getting to know people just because you feel like you should, there is no hard-and-fast rule that says you have to.

So, is casual dating necessary before you start seriously looking for love again? The short answer is no. But if you want a good result, you do need to take action.

The best way to find what you are looking for is to start looking. We don’t suggest dipping one toe into the shallow end, either. We encourage jumping in with both feet! To do this, you’ll need to use a few different approaches all at once:

  • Be open to connecting with ‘friends of friends’
  • Work with a matchmaker
  • Establish a few online dating site profiles

Most importantly – keep an open heart and an open mind.

Say yes to being introduced to new people. Be open to having calls with potential love interests, and be receptive to feeling the vibe and connection as you get to know them. And don’t be afraid of dating more than one person at a time, because there are many advantages to doing so.

Read our post about the benefits of dating more than one person at a time here!

What Kind of a Relationship Do You Really Want?
Before you start searching for love again, take some time to consider what is most important to you in a relationship. Once you have defined those qualities, it’s easier torecognize and give attention to what matters.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What kind of partner are you in a relationship?
  • Can you do better in any of these areas?
  • What are your weaknesses as a partner?
  • What kind of relationship are you looking for? And are you capable of being in this kind of relationship?
  • How much time can you give to someone when you are starting to get to know them? (specifically, someone you are quite interested in)
  • How do you show someone that you love and care for them?

Now, let’s continue, but in a slightly different direction. Be thoughtful about your responses because they make a huge difference in the quality of your connection.

  • How does your match carry themselves when they walk into a room full of strangers?
  • Who is more attractive, you or your match?
  • What qualities do you admire in someone?
  • What personality types do you tend to connect well with?
  • What is your match’s relationship like with their family and friends?
  • How do you feel about yourself when you are around your match?
  • How can someone show you they love you?

The more honest you can be about yourself and the qualities you desire in a prospective match, the easier your journey will be. Of course, rules were made to be broken, so it’s important to keep an open mind. Be true to yourself, but don’t close yourself off to the possibilities.

When you’re ready to find love again, we’re here to help! It isn’t always easy to get back into the game, but when you have a strategy and a great coach behind you, your chances are excellent. Reach out today to find out how to get started.