By Rebecca Cooper Traynor | Match Me Canada
Let’s get honest for a minute, shall we?
You can have the best photos on Hinge, the smoothest opener on Match, the hottest date night outfit—and still, your love life feels like Groundhog Day. Same heartbreak, different face.
Here’s why:
You’re not just dating them.
You’re dating your attachment style—and theirs, too.
So what exactly is an attachment style?
It’s basically your emotional blueprint for how you do relationships. It was formed back when you were still eating Cheerios in a highchair and watching adults either love you consistently… or not.
And now? It runs the show.
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The Four Styles (aka your love life’s backstage crew):
1. Anxious:
“Do you love me? Are you sure? What about now?”
You crave closeness, fear abandonment, and read texts like they’re coded CIA messages.
2. Avoidant:
“Feelings? Let’s circle back never.”
You want connection—but the second things get too real, you ghost, retreat, or get emotionally chilly.
3. Disorganized (aka Anxious-Avoidant):
“Come here… now get away from me.”
You’re stuck in a push-pull dynamic where you don’t trust love, but you crave it deeply. Exhausting? Oh yeah.
4. Secure:
“I love you. You love me. We’re good.”
You communicate clearly, respect space, and don’t need a 12-step program to send a text.
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Here’s the kicker:
Most people are out here dating on autopilot.
No awareness of why they’re chasing emotionally unavailable partners.
No clue why they’re pulling away the moment someone actually shows up.
Just vibes and trauma bonding.
And babe, that’s not love—it’s a pattern.
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The Good News?
Attachment style is not your destiny.
It’s a starting point.
Once you see it, you can heal it.
You can move from anxious to secure.
From avoidant to available.
From “I need you to choose me” to “I choose myself—and now I choose better.”
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At Match Me Canada, we don’t just match people. We coach them.
We help you unpack your attachment style, heal your patterns, and step into dating like someone who knows what they want—and knows they’re worthy of it.
Check out our Online Dating Takeover here
Because healthy love isn’t luck. It’s earned—through self-awareness, healing, and saying no to chaos.
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With love and secure vibes,
Rebecca
Founder, Match Me Canada
