Let’s talk about something that quietly ruins a lot of potentially great connections.
You meet someone. Maybe you’re dating them, maybe it’s a new friend. They seem nice, warm, into it. But then… they don’t text back the way you do. They don’t remember your birthday. They didn’t send a thank-you note after dinner. And slowly—you start to check out.
Why?
Because you’ve decided: “If they don’t show up the way I do, they must not care.”
Here’s the hard truth, my beautiful over-functioning, highly thoughtful, heart-centered human:
They’re not you. And they’re not supposed to be.
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You’re not “too much.” But your expectations might be.
You might be the one who remembers every birthday, plans every gathering, sends thoughtful follow-ups, shows up for people before they even ask.
That’s beautiful. That’s love in motion.
But expecting everyone to show up exactly like you?
That’s not connection—that’s control with good intentions.
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When you assume others are like you, you set them up to fail your invisible checklist.
You assume:
- If I’d send a thank-you text, they should too.
- If I care, I’d ask how their day was—so if they don’t, they must not care.
- If I’d plan something special, they should’ve done that already.
And when they don’t? You feel let down.
Worse, you start to resent them.
But here’s the thing:
Different doesn’t mean disinterested.
Quiet doesn’t mean cold.
Not-you doesn’t mean not-worthwhile.
- It means they’re wired differently.
- It means they show care in their way.
- It means they’re showing you exactly who they are—and it’s on you to believe them, not rewrite them.
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Real Talk: Love doesn’t mean “mirror me.” It means “see me—and let me see you.”
So the next time someone doesn’t match your energy right away, ask:
- Are they consistent, even if quiet?
- Do they show up in their own way?
- Are your expectations fair—or just familiar?
Because when you stop needing people to be a reflection of you, you make room for something better: a real relationship. Not a performance. Not a checklist. But a human-to-human connection.
And if they’re not for you? That’s okay too.
You get to lovingly say, “Not my person,” and keep it moving—with your peace intact.
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Need help unpacking your patterns? That’s what I’m here for.
At Match Me Canada, we don’t just match people. We coach you through the stuff that gets in the way of being matched.
Whether you’re trying to figure out if you’re expecting too much or just not seeing enough, I’ll help you see the difference—clearly.
Because expecting someone to be a carbon copy of you might feel safe—but it won’t get you the deep, secure connection you actually want.
You bring the real. Let them bring theirs.
That’s where love lives.
With honesty and growth,
Rebecca
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Match Me Canada
