Look at you, showing up and putting yourself out there. Love that for you.
I’m Rebecca Cooper Traynor, matchmaker, dating coach, and real-talk advocate behind Match Me Canada. I’ve spent the past 16 years helping singles find healthy love. And part of that means facing the stuff that keeps us stuck.
Like why you keep ending up with emotionally unavailable people.
Let’s get real. If every date you go on ends with you feeling confused, let down, or like you’re the one doing all the work, there’s a pattern there. And it’s not just that all the good ones are taken. That’s lazy thinking, babe.
Let me tell you about one of my clients. We’ll call her Dana. She’s brilliant, funny, and looks like she stepped out of a Pilates commercial. But she kept falling for the guy who “wasn’t ready for a relationship” or “just got out of something.” You know the type. Hot, charming, full of unresolved stuff, and can’t commit to a dinner plan, let alone a life partner.
Here’s what we uncovered. Dana didn’t feel safe in love unless she was chasing it. That came from her own anxious attachment and childhood experiences. Once we got honest about that and raised her standards, not just on paper but in how she showed up, everything shifted.
Here’s What To Do Instead:
- Check your chemistry compass. If you only feel drawn to people who give you breadcrumbs, your “picker” needs recalibrating.
- Stop making excuses for bad behavior. If someone isn’t consistent, emotionally present, or able to show up for you, that’s not a challenge. That’s a no.
- Get clear on what secure love feels like. It’s not a rollercoaster. It’s peace. It’s “Hey, I like you, and I’m here.”
Want help rewriting your relationship patterns?
Book a 20-minute discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/rebeccacoopertraynor/20min
Or dive into my full support program: https://matchmecanada.ca/online-dating
