Written by Rebecca Cooper Traynor for Match Me Canada
Relationships, whether blossoming or matured, come with their fair share of disagreements. As a matter of fact, it’s only natural to have differences of opinion, especially when you’re spending a significant amount of time with someone. While some might believe that conflicts spell trouble, seasoned relationship therapists tell us otherwise.
“Every disagreement in a relationship is an opportunity for growth. It’s not the disagreement itself, but how you handle it, that defines the relationship’s strength,” says Dr. Lillian Roberts, a noted marriage counsellor.
What Does It Mean to “Fight Fair”?
“Fighting fair” doesn’t imply that there’s an actual physical or aggressive altercation. Instead, it denotes the manner in which two individuals approach and navigate disagreements.
Fighting fair means:
- Respecting the other’s viewpoint.
- Refraining from name-calling or making derogatory comments.
- Listening actively and avoiding interruptions.
- Avoiding the blame game and focusing on the issue at hand.
How to “Fight Fair”?
- Stay Calm: This isn’t about winning; it’s about understanding and growth. Breathe, take a step back if you need to, and remember it’s okay to ask for a break if you feel you’re getting too heated.
- Listen Actively: It means really hearing what the other person is saying without immediately thinking about your response.
- Stay On Topic: Avoid bringing up past arguments or grievances. Stick to the current issue.
- Use “I” Statements: Instead of saying “You always…”, try “I feel like…” This shifts the conversation from blame to understanding.
- Seek Solutions, Not Victories: The goal isn’t to “win” the argument but to come to a mutual understanding or solution.
Building Skills for Relationship Growth
Both partners in a relationship can benefit immensely from investing in the growth of their bond. Here are a couple of skills to develop:
- Empathy: Putting yourself in your partner’s shoes can change the whole narrative.
- Effective Communication: Not just speaking, but also listening, understanding, and responding accordingly.
Rebecca Cooper Traynor emphasizes, “Just as you wouldn’t build a house without a solid foundation, you shouldn’t expect a relationship to thrive without the proper groundwork. It’s all about the tools and techniques.”
Give Your Relationship the Boost it Deserves
Are you struggling to navigate disagreements? Do you find yourself wishing for a guiding hand? Match Me Canada, while rooted in the age-old tradition of matchmaking, is embracing a modern digital approach to help you. With our one-hour date coaching call, we help singles and couples work through problems, targeting key issues to ensure that your current or soon-to-be relationship is a solid one.
Remember, every relationship has its ups and downs. But with the right techniques and mindset, each challenge can lead to greater understanding and deeper connection.
Rebecca Cooper Traynor is a passionate matchmaker and the force behind Match Me Canada. With years of experience and countless successful matches, she’s now pioneering a modern approach to matchmaking and relationship coaching.