Why Being Present in your Relationship Matters
Hey, beautiful souls! I’m Rebecca Cooper Traynor, your matchmaker and dating coach at Match Me Canada. For over 15 years, I’ve helped singles in Toronto and the GTA find love that’s real, meaningful, and grounded in reality. Today, let’s talk about a common relationship pitfall: falling in love with a story you’ve created about someone instead of the real person in front of you.
When we meet someone who excites us, it’s easy to start imagining who they might be and how they might fit into our lives. But here’s the catch: sometimes, the story we create isn’t quite aligned with reality. We find ourselves falling for an idealized version, and when reality hits, it can be disappointing. If you’re ready to build something real, it’s time to step out of the story and see the person as they are, flaws and all.
5 Steps to Stay Grounded in the Real Relationship
1. Be Aware of Your Idealized Version
Start by recognizing if you’re seeing your partner as they are or through rose-colored glasses. Are you projecting qualities onto them, hoping they’ll fulfill your ideal partner checklist? Awareness is key to bringing yourself back to reality.
2. Focus on Actions, Not Promises
Words are powerful, but actions are everything. Notice how they show up for you consistently. Real people demonstrate love and respect through their actions, not just promises. Make sure you’re seeing and valuing the ways they actually show up.
3. Check In with Your Own Needs
It’s easy to ignore our needs when we’re caught up in a story. Ask yourself if you feel truly fulfilled in this relationship, or if you’re making sacrifices for the idea of what could be.
4. Accept Their Real Self, Not Their Potential
Loving someone means accepting them as they are right now. If you’re waiting for them to change or grow into someone who matches your fantasy, it’s a sign to take a step back. Relationships built on “potential” rarely stand the test of time.
5. Be Honest with Yourself
This is the big one. Be brutally honest with yourself about what’s working and what isn’t. Are you holding onto the story of the relationship because it’s comfortable or familiar? The truth may be difficult, but it’s essential for your growth and happiness.
Let’s Get Real About Love
If you’re ready to break free from fantasy relationships and find someone who’s right for who you really are, I’m here to help. At Match Me Canada, we believe in helping people find relationships grounded in honesty, reality, and real compatibility. Let’s get you out of the story and into the relationship you deserve. Book a call with me here to take that next step.
With love and clarity,
Rebecca Cooper Traynor
