Hey love warriors! It’s Rebecca Cooper Traynor from Match Me Canada, here to talk about a super important aspect of dating that often goes overlooked—recognizing and managing your triggers. Whether you’re in the dating world or already in a relationship, understanding your emotional triggers is a skill that will help you grow, not just in love, but in life.
So, what exactly is a trigger? Think of it as an emotional leftover from a past experience that’s still affecting you today. Let’s say you had an ex who was unreliable and would cancel plans last minute. Now, anytime your current partner is late, your mind might start spinning, pulling up old feelings of mistrust or betrayal—even if your partner has no history of that behavior.
Understanding these reactions and acknowledging them (instead of letting them take over) is a game-changer in relationships.
Why Triggers Show Up and What to Do About Them
- Triggers Are Messages from the Past
Triggers are little reminders from old wounds, often stemming from unresolved issues. If you’ve experienced betrayal or heartbreak, it’s normal for certain words, behaviors, or even scents to bring up old memories. The key is to remind yourself that these feelings belong to the past, not to your current relationship. - When You’re Triggered, Take a Pause
When a trigger hits, take a step back. Breathe, acknowledge what you’re feeling, and avoid reacting impulsively. Remember, these feelings may have little to do with your current partner—they’re just echoes from past experiences. - Share Your Feelings with Honesty and Openness
Talking about your triggers doesn’t mean blaming your partner. It’s about letting them know where you’re coming from so they can support you better. Try saying, “I’m feeling a bit triggered because of something from my past, but I want to be open with you.” This keeps the lines of communication open without placing blame. - Separate the Past from the Present
Remind yourself: this is a new relationship, not a replay of your past. Keep grounded in the here and now by focusing on your current partner’s actions, not the echoes of someone who hurt you.
Ready to start building a stronger foundation in your love life? Book a call with me here, and let’s dive into understanding those triggers and moving forward with clarity.
With love and courage,
Rebecca Cooper Traynor
Match Me Canada
