Hey, beautiful singles! I’m Rebecca Cooper Traynor, the matchmaking pro at Match Me Canada, here to help singles in Toronto and the GTA find real, committed love. For 15 years, I’ve guided people through every dating stage—finding connections, recognizing patterns, and knowing when it’s time to walk away. And today, we’re talking about one of the trickiest spots to be in: the “situationship.”
So, what’s a situationship? It’s that in-between space—where you’re hanging out, spending time together, maybe even sharing deeper feelings… but you’re not officially in a relationship. You’re in that almost stage where things look like a relationship but lack the commitment. It’s exciting, but if you’re hoping for something more, it can also be downright frustrating. If you’re finding yourself in this spot, wondering where it’s going, let’s dive into the signs you’re in a situationship and what it might mean for your future together.
5 Signs You’re Stuck in a Situationship
1. They Keep Things Vague
Ever get answers like, “Let’s see where things go” or “I’m just going with the flow”? When someone avoids defining the relationship or future, it’s a pretty good sign they’re not looking to make things official. Real relationships have intention, not just open-ended “maybes.”
2. Consistency? Not So Much
If they’re all about you one week and distant the next, you’re likely not in a relationship. Consistency matters in a committed relationship. If their attention is hot and cold, they’re likely keeping things casual.
3. The Future Feels Off-Limits
In relationships, you talk about the future together. In a situationship, you might find that any future talk feels forced or avoided altogether. If they’re not talking future, they’re likely not thinking about one with you.
4. They’re Not Interested in Integrating Lives
If they’ve never introduced you to friends or family, or if they avoid bringing you into their life outside of your time together, it’s a big sign. A real relationship means sharing parts of your lives, not just meeting up for “us” time.
5. You Feel Uncertain or Anxious
Your gut feelings don’t lie. If you’re feeling insecure or constantly questioning where you stand, listen to that. Anxiety around commitment is often a sign you’re not getting what you want or need.
Can Situationships Lead to Real Relationships?
If you’re holding out hope for your situationship to turn into something real, it’s time to ask: Are they showing any signs they want a commitment? Or are they just enjoying the casual perks? If you’re always waiting, you may be stuck in a holding pattern that isn’t going anywhere.
So, what can you do?
1. Have an Honest Talk: Sometimes, people avoid commitment because they’re uncertain or unaware of what you want. It might feel risky, but be upfront about your goals.
2. Set Boundaries: If you’re not getting what you need, set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t settle for halfway if you’re looking for a real relationship.
3. Focus on What You Deserve: Your life doesn’t need to revolve around anyone’s “maybe.” Focus on yourself, what you want, and what makes you happy.
If you’re done with situationships and ready for a committed relationship, I’m here to help. At Match Me Canada, we’ll guide you through finding a partner who’s genuinely invested in building a future with you. Ready to start? Book a call with me here, and let’s get you moving toward the love you deserve.
With love and a little real talk,
Rebecca Cooper Traynor
