Hey, fabulous singles! I’m Rebecca Cooper Traynor from Match Me Canada, here to support singles in Toronto and the GTA on their path to finding real, lasting love. With 15 years of matchmaking, dating, and date coaching under my belt, I know that the journey to love has its ups, downs, and more than a few surprises. Sometimes, a little thing can throw us off balance. So, let’s talk about the “ick” moment.
You know what I’m talking about, right? That moment when someone you’re dating says, does, or wears something that just totally turns you off. It’s like, one second you’re into them, and the next? Total “ick.” It’s that feeling where suddenly you’re wondering if you can move forward or if it’s time to run. I’m bringing this up because I just watched this Netflix rom-com series called Nobody Wants This with Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. Without giving too much away, it’s about an unlikely couple who, despite all odds, fall hard for each other. There’s a part in the show where Kristen Bell’s character, Joanne, gets hit with the “ick” about her boyfriend Noah (Adam Brody) and starts pulling away. But Noah doesn’t back down or try to change. He stands his ground, saying, “You like me, or you don’t.” And he even helps her move through the “ick” instead of letting it end things.
And I loved this. It’s so relatable! How many times have I heard from my clients or singles on the dating scene about getting the “ick”? As soon as something feels off, they’re ready to call it quits. But here’s the thing—sometimes, the “ick” is just a moment. And with the right mindset, you can move through it and get back to the good stuff. So, let’s talk about what you can do if you’re faced with an “ick” moment, whether on a first date or even in a long-term relationship.
How to Get Through the “Ick” Moment
1. Pause and Breathe
First, take a breath. Instead of jumping to conclusions, recognize the “ick” for what it is—a knee-jerk reaction to something unexpected. Sometimes, it’s just your mind reacting to a tiny detail, not an actual dealbreaker. Give it some time to settle before you decide to walk away.
2. Reflect on the Bigger Picture
Ask yourself if this person’s “ick” moment truly reflects who they are. Maybe they said or did something that wasn’t ideal, but does it define them? Focus on their overall character. Do they make you laugh? Do they listen? Look at what really matters in a partner.
3. Don’t Rush to a Decision
The “ick” can feel like a big, flashing red light, but it’s often temporary. Give yourself time. Sometimes, the qualities that give us the “ick” can become endearing, or at least tolerable, once we get to know someone better. Not every misstep is a dealbreaker.
4. Have an Honest Talk
If you’re already in a relationship and you’re having an “ick” moment, bring it up gently. You don’t need to say, “You’re giving me the ick,” but you can say, “Hey, there’s something that’s been on my mind…” Open communication can help you see things in a new light, and it could bring you closer together.
5. Ask Yourself If You’re Sabotaging
Sometimes, the “ick” is our mind’s way of putting up walls. Maybe you’re worried about getting hurt or have certain expectations that no one could meet. Ask yourself if you’re reacting to a real issue or if it’s a pattern. This can be game-changing for your love life.
Why It’s Worth Working Through the “Ick”
Joanne and Noah in Nobody Wants This are the perfect example of what can happen when you don’t let the “ick” end things prematurely. By sticking it out, they find a deeper connection that’s worth the effort. And in real life, it can be just as rewarding. Sometimes, the “ick” is nothing more than a bump on the road to something real.
If you’re ready to get past the “ick” and find someone who’s worth it, head over to Match Me Canada. We’re all about helping you see past the surface and connect with someone who aligns with your values, lifestyle, and heart. I’d love to help you find the right match and coach you through any “ick” moments along the way. Ready to start? Book a call with me today here.
The “ick” doesn’t have to be the end. Sometimes, it’s just a little test to see if you’re ready for the real thing. So, next time you feel that “ick” creeping in, take a breath, pause, and remember: love is bigger than one small moment. And if you need support, I’m here to help you navigate it all at Match Me Canada.
With love (and a little tough dating wisdom),
Rebecca Cooper Traynor
