Hey fabulous singles! It’s Rebecca Cooper Traynor from Match Me Canada, here to give you a little reality check on online dating. After 15 years of matchmaking and date coaching, I’m here to tell you: online dating can work, but it’s all about setting the right expectations and knowing what to do when you actually do match with someone. Let’s discuss how to make online dating work for you in various scenarios.
Let’s start with the basics—if you’re diving into the online dating pool, know that you might send out a lot of messages and not hear back from everyone. That’s normal, so don’t take it personally! The key is to focus on the ones who do respond and make the most of those connections. By doing this, you can make online dating work effectively. So let’s talk about how to turn those first interactions into real-life dates and how to feel comfortable once you get there.
What to Really Expect with Online Dating
1. You Won’t Hear Back from Everyone
If you’re messaging people and not hearing back, don’t sweat it. That’s just part of the online dating game. Keep putting yourself out there, but know it’s the quality connections, not the quantity, that matter. Focus on the people who show interest back, and this will help you make online dating work better.
2. Shift from Messaging to a Phone Call
When someone does respond and there’s a bit of a back-and-forth, don’t let it linger in endless texting. Suggest moving to a quick phone call or video chat—this is where you can actually get a sense of who they are and if there’s a real vibe. Try asking with something simple like, “I’d love to chat more; would you be up for a quick call to get to know each other better?” This step is crucial to make online dating work successfully.
3. Keep the First Date Casual (and Comfortable)
When it’s time for the first date, think low-pressure. Meeting for a walk, exploring a neighborhood, or grabbing coffee are all great options. Sitting across from each other at a fancy dinner can feel a little like a work meeting. Walking side-by-side or doing an activity can ease nerves and help you both relax and enjoy the experience. This approach can make online dating work more comfortably for both parties.
Tips to Feel Comfortable and Confident on a First Date
1. Choose a Relaxed Setting
Go for something that feels more like hanging out than an interview. In Toronto, try a scenic walk along the waterfront, a casual coffee shop, or even an art gallery—anything that keeps the conversation light and natural. These settings are ideal to make online dating work in real life.
2. Plan a Simple, Easy Escape Option
Let’s be real—first dates can be hit or miss. By choosing a low-stakes date, you can easily wrap things up after 30–45 minutes if it’s not a fit. This way, you’re in control and can keep things short and sweet if needed.
3. Ask Curious, Fun Questions
Skip the interview-style questions. Instead, try something more engaging: “What’s the best place you’ve traveled to?” or “If you could be any character in a movie, who would you choose?” Questions like these are more memorable and help you see a different side of your date.
4. Be Present and Relaxed
Remember, dating is as much about feeling good as it is about making connections. If you feel nervous, remind yourself that they’re likely feeling the same way. Take a few deep breaths and enjoy the experience for what it is.
Online Dating Is a Journey, Not a Sprint
If you’re ready to get serious about online dating, keep things realistic, stay open, and don’t forget to have a little fun with it. Real connections don’t happen overnight—they happen when you approach dating with curiosity and authenticity. Ready to level up your dating game? Book a call with me here, and let’s turn your online connections into real-life love. These steps will help you truly make online dating work.
With love and a little tough talk,
Rebecca Cooper Traynor
