Why Giving Yourself Three Chances to Get to Know Your Match Matters
By Rebecca Cooper, Match Me Canada
Let’s be real: dating can be stressful. No matter how accomplished or comfortable someone may be in their professional life—whether they’re a seasoned executive or someone with impressive emotional intelligence—dating can still feel like a high-pressure audition. And if we’re honest, first dates, and sometimes second ones, can be… well, awkward.
But here’s the thing: if you give yourself (and your match) three dates, you’ll have a much clearer picture of who they are and whether there’s a genuine connection. I’m here to tell you why.
1. First Dates Are Weird. Period.
People put a lot of pressure on themselves to make a great first impression. They want to seem smart, charming, and, let’s face it, perfect. But perfection doesn’t exist, especially when you’re nervously sitting across from someone you just met, trying to chew your food without making a mess. Let’s normalize the awkward silences, the nervous laughs, and the slightly-too-loud responses.
The first date isn’t about fireworks—it’s about seeing if there’s even a spark worth pursuing. Give yourself permission to not have a magical first date. If there’s even the smallest hint of curiosity, go on a second date.
2. Second Dates Let You Breathe.
By the second date, some of the first-date jitters have worn off. You’ve seen each other once, and now you’re not complete strangers anymore. This is when you can start to get a real sense of who the other person is when they’re slightly less on edge. The conversation will (hopefully) start to flow more easily, and you might even find out that their “boring” first-date persona was just nerves.
If the first date felt a little off but you’re still intrigued, don’t hesitate—give it another shot. The second date is your chance to see the real person emerge.
3. By Date Three, the Real You Shows Up.
By the third date, you should have a pretty good idea of whether you and your match have things in common and if they’re someone you can enjoy spending time with. This is where you drop the pretenses and stop playing the “impress each other” game. You’re just two people figuring out if you enjoy each other’s company—and that’s really the only thing that matters at this stage.
The third date is your chance to notice the little things: Do they make you laugh? Do you feel comfortable sharing pieces of your life with them? Can you picture spending more time together, without any pressure to plan the rest of your life? That’s as far as your brain should go—just one enjoyable date at a time.
Take the Pressure Off
Here’s the truth: if you go out with someone and they’re absolutely horrid—rude, unkind, or just plain unbearable—then, by all means, cut your losses after the first date. But if they seemed a little quiet, the conversation felt awkward, or they just didn’t blow your mind right away, give them another shot. You never know who might surprise you once they relax a little.
Remember, you’re not searching for perfection on a first date; you’re trying to see if this person is worth getting to know better. That means giving them—and yourself—a fair chance.
So, the next time you’re out there, sweating through the first-date nerves, remember this: three dates. It’s not about finding “the one” right away. It’s about seeing if this person is someone you’d like to spend a little more time with. Because love doesn’t always arrive with fireworks—it often starts with a simple spark.
Now, get out there and enjoy the process! You’ve got this.
