I was on my way back from an event in Ottawa, and a client of mine called my cell phone wanting some advice on her current dating situation. I was in the passenger seat, so I was able to give her my undivided attention.
She revealed that she was having a challenging time being herself with this new man in her life. She questioned whether he understood her sense of humor and whether she was giving him the mental stimulation she thought he needed. He spoke a lot about work and his life commitments, leaving our client wondering if there was any room for her in life. No matter what the topic, she was second guessing her answers to his questions and seemed almost concerned about what his impression was of her.
Our conversation consisted of a lot of uncertainty. She wasn’t sure how to approach the next interaction with him.
Then there was a moment, she revealed that she wasn’t sure if he needed the same type of security that she was longing to receive from him. She indicated that knowing his interest in her would help her feel more at ease about the situation. She didn’t think that men needed that type of security from their partner. I was quick to point out that men have insecurities, also. Men too, need to know that they are thought of and cared for.
Even the manliest macho guy is concerned about having his ego bruised.
He too, can be sensitive and may have some confidence issues. The truth is that men can be fragile with body issues, hair loss, fashion style, finances and professional success. Not to mention sexual competency and penis size! … But how would you know any of this if you never chose to ask?
He wants to put his best foot forward and meet a beautiful and intelligent woman. Someone who can be his rock, and show him support every day. Someone who asks questions and truly listens. Most men are looking for a partner who has a positive attitude toward life. Someone who he can be in a room with, enjoying the silence together, and knowing she cares.
The call I shared with my client allowed me to realize that we all need to work a little harder at communicating with the people in our lives. Thoughts are only ideas that you are thinking about, and often people get lost in their own assumptions.
Make sure you are living consciously, and working hard at expressing your feelings and thoughts to your partner.
Communication is so important in your relationship. Which means having the ability to speak about your thoughts and feelings, and also listen to your partners. There is no sense in running a scenario in your head over and over again, wondering what the meaning was of someone’s action, or lack thereof. Being able to communicate your needs to someone is what will help you create and maintain a healthy relationship. You will allow someone to understand you, and you will allow yourself to understand yourself better.