Hi, I’m Rebecca Cooper Traynor from Match Me Canada. For nearly 16 years, I’ve been helping singles find love and build meaningful connections. Whether it’s matchmaking, dating advice, or relationship coaching, supporting people on their journey to love is my passion—and let me tell you, it’s so rewarding to see clients thrive!
One common issue I hear from my clients is this: “Rebecca, why do my dates feel like job interviews?” And honestly, it’s a valid question. When your date feels more like a Q&A session than a chance to connect, it’s hard to build chemistry. But don’t worry—this is totally fixable. Let’s explore why it happens and how to turn things around.
Why Do Dates Feel Like Interviews?
1. The Pressure to Impress
You want to look good, sound good, and be your best self. But this pressure can lead to overly formal conversations that lack warmth and spontaneity.
2. Relying on Scripts
Nerves can make you cling to “safe” questions like, “What do you do for work?” or “Where are you from?” While these questions aren’t bad, they don’t spark connection.
3. Checklist Mentality
If you’re too focused on finding someone who meets your “criteria,” your questions might feel more like vetting than genuine curiosity.
How to Shift from Interview to Connection
1. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Instead of “What do you do?” try, “What’s the most exciting thing you’ve done at work recently?” This shifts the conversation from transactional to personal.
2. Share, Don’t Just Ask
Dates are a two-way street. If you’re asking questions, make sure to share something about yourself, too. For example, “I love to travel! My dream destination is Italy. How about you—where would you go if money wasn’t an issue?”
3. Embrace the Awkward Silences
Silences aren’t the enemy! Let moments of quiet happen. They can be an opportunity for deeper reflection or a natural reset in the conversation.
4. Be Present and Curious
Instead of trying to figure out if this person is “The One,” focus on learning who they are. Genuine curiosity creates connection, not checklists.
Real-Life Success Story
One of my clients, let’s call her Amanda, used to approach dates like a hiring manager. She had her list of must-haves and fired off questions to make sure her date fit the bill. Unsurprisingly, most of her dates fizzled out.
After coaching, Amanda switched gears. She started asking open-ended questions and allowed the conversation to flow naturally. On one date, instead of grilling her match, she asked, “What’s the funniest thing that’s happened to you recently?” They ended up laughing all night. That guy? He’s now her boyfriend.
Let’s Work Together
If your dates feel more like interviews than adventures, let’s change that. Book a consultation call with me to learn how I can help you navigate dating with confidence.
Want more personalized advice? Schedule a one-hour coaching call here. Visit Match Me Canada to explore how I can support your journey to love.
